House Arrest

It's been a week and a two days since my last chemo infusion. I was under house-arrest until this morning to make sure I give my body a chance to recover; my counts need a chance to come back up without being exposed to germs. My body is the weakest on days 5-7 after chemo, but we're being extra safe because of what happened last time. House-arrest sucked...it was boring and tiring. I was so bored two days ago that I even ironed our sheets and duvet cover (embarrassing that I just admitted that to the public).

My chemo regime was changed due to my hospitalization:

• A 20% reduction of Epirubicen;
• elimination of the extra 5FU infusion on Fridays; and 
• instead of the Neulasta shot on the Saturday after infusion, I have Neupogen shots for five days starting the day after my chemo infusion 

The week following chemo was miserable. I felt like a truck ran me over and I drank a bottle of tequila all by myself every night. The nausea was almost unbearable. I could barely talk, let alone move. Every move I made - whether it was getting out of bed or getting off the couch I felt like I was on the verge of throwing up my entire stomach. I lost almost 10 pounds by Sunday because all I ate was a bowl of porridge and water a day. I am deathly afraid of the third cycle because chemo has a cumulative effect, but only two more left so I can't complain, right?  

After my hospitalization, I decided to go back on medical leave until I can get through the remainder of my chemo treatments. I feel a little bit like a failure that I couldn't work through this, but this is not a time to try to be a super-hero, over-achiever, right? I just need to get over it and realize my body's limitations. Argh.